it must be a strange feeling to be a teacher.
you educate hundreds of students. each year brings a new batch. and yet, when the end of the year comes, they move on, while you stand still. you are like that lone solitary rock, standing in the sea as waves come through incessantly, beating a consistent, never-ending rhythm upon you. and as they all move on with their lives, going on to do greater things, it feels like you stay static. you are the one constant in this ever-shifting variable of the classroom.
i had an incredibly vivid dream last night that i went back to my middle school and visited my middle school teachers. it was final exam season, so all the students were sitting at their desks intently working on their tests. i remember looking down at my watch and registering the time as 2:48 pm, and realizing that it had just been over an hour since the exam period started. in my dream, i had the chance to meet and talk to my 8th grade social studies and 7th grade science teachers. but the one person i had really wanted to see - my 8th grade english teacher - i couldn't, because the exam period hadn't ended yet and the door was still shut. and of course, the dream ended before i had the chance to see her.
this is the second dream i've had about visiting my middle school, and in both, the chance to speak to my english teacher has evaded me. it's endlessly frustrating, because i think, if i can't go back and visit her in real life, can't you at least give me that opportunity in my dreams?
when i woke up this morning, the first thing i did was try to go back and find her in the staff directory of my middle school. however, i got a nasty shock when i discovered that her name was missing. when i continued digging, i discovered that she had resigned just about two years ago.
i was stunned. how could she have left? didn't she know that i had been planning to visit sometime in the future? how on earth was i supposed to contact her now? the last email exchange we had had was in 2010, during my freshman year of high school. that fact also surprised me, because it didn't feel like six years had passed since we last communicated.
six long years. i let that sink in, and realized something: time doesn't stand still. just because things were one way while i was there doesn't mean that when i return, things will be exactly the way they were when i left. my absence meant a lot to me, of course, but it means very little in the grand scheme of things. the universe doesn't revolve around me. time doesn't stand still. time, as my grandmother used to say, waits for no man.
when i think back to all the times we spent in class together, all the times i used to go and visit her during lunch period and after school, when we'd just sit and talk, all the valuable advice and guidance that i received from her over the course of that year, what was to be my final year in middle school and in Massachusetts, i am overcome with an immense rush of gratitude and affection. she had more of an impact on me than she realizes, probably - it certainly was that way for me. truth be told, she was the first teacher whom i can honestly say was a role model. she inspired me in a way that no one else had up until that point. my 8th grade experience was, quite honestly, the most rewarding experience i'd had, and i truly owe all of it to my teachers.
so for all the teachers out there, especially the ones who i've been fortunate enough to have, over the years, as instructors and mentors and guides: thank you for all that you do. those words are honestly not enough to express how grateful i am for the things you've taught me and the way you always believed in me. thank you for seeing the potential in me and being so important in making me the person that i am today. i especially want my middle school teachers, particularly my english teacher, Mrs. Richmond, to know this: you are amazing. truly. middle school students are a difficult bunch to teach (i remember all too well what my classmates used to be like at the time), and it takes an infinite amount of patience and determination to not only teach them, but to do it well, so well that you become an integral part of someone's memory, permanently etched in their minds, so that people like me still remember you and think of you fondly every single day. so thank you.
you educate hundreds of students. each year brings a new batch. and yet, when the end of the year comes, they move on, while you stand still. you are like that lone solitary rock, standing in the sea as waves come through incessantly, beating a consistent, never-ending rhythm upon you. and as they all move on with their lives, going on to do greater things, it feels like you stay static. you are the one constant in this ever-shifting variable of the classroom.
i had an incredibly vivid dream last night that i went back to my middle school and visited my middle school teachers. it was final exam season, so all the students were sitting at their desks intently working on their tests. i remember looking down at my watch and registering the time as 2:48 pm, and realizing that it had just been over an hour since the exam period started. in my dream, i had the chance to meet and talk to my 8th grade social studies and 7th grade science teachers. but the one person i had really wanted to see - my 8th grade english teacher - i couldn't, because the exam period hadn't ended yet and the door was still shut. and of course, the dream ended before i had the chance to see her.
this is the second dream i've had about visiting my middle school, and in both, the chance to speak to my english teacher has evaded me. it's endlessly frustrating, because i think, if i can't go back and visit her in real life, can't you at least give me that opportunity in my dreams?
when i woke up this morning, the first thing i did was try to go back and find her in the staff directory of my middle school. however, i got a nasty shock when i discovered that her name was missing. when i continued digging, i discovered that she had resigned just about two years ago.
i was stunned. how could she have left? didn't she know that i had been planning to visit sometime in the future? how on earth was i supposed to contact her now? the last email exchange we had had was in 2010, during my freshman year of high school. that fact also surprised me, because it didn't feel like six years had passed since we last communicated.
six long years. i let that sink in, and realized something: time doesn't stand still. just because things were one way while i was there doesn't mean that when i return, things will be exactly the way they were when i left. my absence meant a lot to me, of course, but it means very little in the grand scheme of things. the universe doesn't revolve around me. time doesn't stand still. time, as my grandmother used to say, waits for no man.
when i think back to all the times we spent in class together, all the times i used to go and visit her during lunch period and after school, when we'd just sit and talk, all the valuable advice and guidance that i received from her over the course of that year, what was to be my final year in middle school and in Massachusetts, i am overcome with an immense rush of gratitude and affection. she had more of an impact on me than she realizes, probably - it certainly was that way for me. truth be told, she was the first teacher whom i can honestly say was a role model. she inspired me in a way that no one else had up until that point. my 8th grade experience was, quite honestly, the most rewarding experience i'd had, and i truly owe all of it to my teachers.
so for all the teachers out there, especially the ones who i've been fortunate enough to have, over the years, as instructors and mentors and guides: thank you for all that you do. those words are honestly not enough to express how grateful i am for the things you've taught me and the way you always believed in me. thank you for seeing the potential in me and being so important in making me the person that i am today. i especially want my middle school teachers, particularly my english teacher, Mrs. Richmond, to know this: you are amazing. truly. middle school students are a difficult bunch to teach (i remember all too well what my classmates used to be like at the time), and it takes an infinite amount of patience and determination to not only teach them, but to do it well, so well that you become an integral part of someone's memory, permanently etched in their minds, so that people like me still remember you and think of you fondly every single day. so thank you.
